The ride started out tough, I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat. If you know me, you know that's how I roll, tell it like it is - for the most part. On a sidenote, I wasn't always like this, but with all that life has tossed my way, with all the good, the bad and the ugly I've lived through, experienced and witnessed with my own two eyes over the past 7 years, I've grown a thicker skin and don't have much time to "beat around the bush" or bulls**t.
Anyway, back on track here.
Yes, it's been an eyeopening, learning, growing and all around quite amazing 7 years. If you would have asked me oh . . . let's say 6-1/2 years ago, my answer would not have been amazing - not at all.
I didn't always view things as 'growing', 'learning' and for sure not 'amazing'. There are days and weeks and months that all around have been pretty tough, pretty hard and very challenging. There are things I have downright despised. There are days I wanted much of the "crap" to go away. There have been days filled with mostly tears and sadness. There have been days of questioning everything and other days that were filled with so much fear. There are days I've wished that Olivia could just live a 'normal' life. But in all those not so great days and weeks, there have been so many blessings. In the grand scheme of things, there have been so many goods to outweigh the bad.
There have been so many days that this sweet, innocent, a bit sassy and spicy 7 year old, little girl of mine has taught me to change my perspective. She's taught me to look at life through a different lens; to look and see through her two beautiful blue-green eyes, what it is that she sees when she sees life.
Olivia has had hard days. She's had days where she has questioned if she would continue to live and for how long. There have been days that she has wondered and questioned that which is her life and her cystic fibrosis. But through it all . . . through all her trials and fears and pokes and prods and hospitalizations and pills and meds . . . this little girl, this amazing daughter of mine, lives life fully every. single. day. Olivia tackles everything she does with full force, head on and always gives more than 100%. She loves life. She too tells it like it is. She doesn't let anything, anyone and certainly not her cystic fibrosis slow her down. She doesn't hide anything and embraces every piece of herself. I know that her attitude about life may some day change, but I'm going to hold on tight to this outlook on life that she has right here, right now.
Thus, there is a lot to be learned from this 7 year old little girl and I thank my lucky stars every single day, that I get to live and learn from her each and every day that we are blessed to have together.
Just this past summer, the kids and I were coming home from the store and out of the blue, Olivia said to Landen and I, "Well, I'm lucky because I have cystic fibrosis and not many people do". She said it with just enough sass and matter of fact and emotion that is Olivia, displaying to us just how proud she is.
Now, for all the ways and means to view cystic fibrosis, for all the havoc it wreaks and crummy things it does and is, for this sweet, innocent little lady to believe herself lucky because of cystic fibrosis, to me, is purely amazing, and the best part?
She is right.
There are many days that I don't feel that Olivia is lucky to have cf and all days I wish and pray and hope for that cure, but for all that cf has taught us, for all that cf has shaped and molded Olivia into - the amazing tough as nails, determined girl that she is, Olivia is right . . . she is lucky. She is lucky to see life as she does. She is lucky to embrace the struggles she has because of cf and fight like hell to overcome them. She is lucky that the path she was given to lead, is a path that she embraces, pushes through with determination and perserverance and down right loves.
For Jeff. Landen and I, who get to walk along Olivia's path each and everyday, we too should feel lucky. For all that she has taught us in these past 7 years, we should feel nothing less than blessed. For myself to be able to call her my own, my daughter, it's an unexplainable feeling.
I love it.
So without further ado. . .
Happy 7th Birthday Olivia! (a day early)
Cheers to 7 years baby girl! I pray that we have many, many, many more years together, but if it's many or just a few, I thank God that you will make sure that each day is precious, each day is lived well, each day is tackled head on and that you will remind us all that with each day and every tomorrow . . . we are blessed.